A brief introduction to “adventurous” photo editing.
One of the many reasons I LOVE my stepdad.
Here It Is
Alright. Break ups are hard. I’ve been running and running and running from it, but it’s hard. I really thought that 2 weeks in, I’d be good to go. I thought the pain would be subsiding and thoughts drifting elsewhere, but they’re not.
I’m diving back into my pool of friends and television. That’s what always got me through before. But this feels different. I feel like people are just staring at me with such pity. Like, “You poor, stupid girl. You should have known better. Why are you even sad?” I don’t feel like I have permission to be sad. Like he was such a monster that I shouldn’t miss what was good about it all. Like anything other than anger and disgust is completely invalid.
In other news, Gary Oldman finally got nominated for an Oscar!
Horoscopes Are Stupid Part Whatever:
Someone is not being fair with you, Scorpio. You are a highly principled person, and so this bothers you deeply. But does this person’s adversarial behavior justify the same from you? Absolutely not. If you were to play the same game you would feel guilty and you probably wouldn’t like yourself very much once your anger subsided. Even though you are inclined to fight fire with fire, you need to do the right thing. When you do, you will inspire this individual to be honorable in return.
New Mantra: What would my Aunt Bone do? She would give everyone the finger, tell them to go fuck themselves, put her pistol back in her purse, and move the fuck on. Done and done.
‘Nuff said.
Now and then I think of when we were together
Like when you said you felt so happy you could die
I told myself that you were right for me
But felt so lonely in your company
But that was love and it’s an ache I still remember
You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness
Like resignation to the end
Always the end
So when we found that we could not make sense
Well you said that we would still be friends
But I’ll admit that I was glad that it was over
But you didn’t have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened
And that we were nothing
And I don’t even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger
And that feels so rough
No you didn’t have to stoop so low
Have your friends collect your records
And then change your number
I guess that I don’t need that though
Now you’re just somebody that I used to know
Now you’re just somebody that I used to know
Now you’re just somebody that I used to know
Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over
But had me believing it was always something that I’d done
But I don’t wanna live that way
Reading into every word you say
You said that you could let it go
And I wouldn’t catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know
But you didn’t have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened
And that we were nothing
And I don’t even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger
And that feels so rough
No you didn’t have to stoop so low
Have your friends collect your records
And then change your number
I guess that I don’t need that though
Now you’re just somebody that I used to know
Somebody
I used to know
Now you’re just somebody that I used to know
Somebody
I used to know
Now you’re just somebody that I used to know
I used to know
That I used to know
I used to know
Somebody
Lesson Learned
I started writing this thing as my New Year’s Resolution last year. 2011 was the year that I was going to write my own story. And cheese and rice if it’s not a fucking story.
I went to both Carolina’s and Chicago. I saw great concerts and came into my element as a bartender and a woman. I survived a year of living alone. I took in a cat and ended up with 6 more than I intended. I loved and I lost. When I say lost, I mean got the shit kicked out of me. My insides are most likely unrecognizable to the human eye. However, through this love and loss, I reconnected with my two oldest friends while maintaining happy, healthy relationships with my new coworker best friends. I got my fourth tattoo. I gained truth and freedom the hard way.
So far, 2012 has punched me in the face. It’s cool. Because of 2011, I’m ready to punch 2012 in the dick and watch it cry.
Rude
In my old age, I have discovered that the vast majority of the human race walks around with a certain sense of entitlement. Some are more severe than others. And I have no shame in including myself in this vast majority of the general public. However, as an employee of the service industry, gross displays of rudeness to other people busting ass to make a living tends to just go through me.
Last week, I was in line at Panera. There was only one person running the registers. A queue had just started to build and no one had been waiting very long. Another employee walks up, is obviously going to stop at another register and start taking orders, and makes a lighthearted joke about how everyone is watching him. It was clear that he was a jovial man just trying to give everyone a smile while they were waiting. The old bag in front of me spits out, “Well are you going to stop at a register or not?!” Unable to hide my disgust, I say out loud, “Oh my god.” The Panera employee laughed it off and went on his way. I did the same, but was still flabbergasted at the curtness of that woman.
Seems like the holidays tend to put people a bit on edge. I get it, but it just seems totally unnecessary that people would let that stress out on perfect strangers. Gross.
There is nothing like a beautiful, wonderful fall day spent with a huge array of friends to make you feel both loved and grateful for that love. Good good day.
<3
There’s no place like home. I missed the smells of home. And the noise. I missed my apartment that smells like cigarettes, nail polish, and lavender. I missed the sounds of cars and dogs and planes. It feels so good to be back and to appreciate all of it more than I did when I left. I feels good to have been missed.
I discovered some things about myself that have changed in the past year. Some things I liked, some things I didn’t. Either way, I feel like I got what I needed from my pilgrimage and now I’m gonna be so good at it, it’ll make your head spin.
Happy. Happy. Happy.
Insert witty blog description here. I seem to be out of jokes at the moment.
